Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My first STD was from a foam party
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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