Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
