The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
