In the future we'll all be gay
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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