Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i think i have two assholes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
