Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
