Pappa wants mamma naked
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
its liver damage thursday
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize