a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
