I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
