Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
