Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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