allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
