Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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