So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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