She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
how does that bad decision feel?
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