I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
