remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
