Porn is love you can see.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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