omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This toilet bowl is my home.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
