that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
