Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wear drunk well.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
