my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
