Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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