? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
