I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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