dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Two words: nipple clamps
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