ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
