I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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