Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
