Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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