OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
