More tranny stories later!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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