dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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