I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
