the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize