ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
