I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
