I wish my penis had an off switch
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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