shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
