god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
