I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
