hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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