your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize