I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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