Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we're making bets on your personal life
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
