i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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