Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize