sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize