I have demons in me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
