eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
