i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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