When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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