YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
what day is it and did you see me today?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Randomize
