So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
