porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
