Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
