State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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