im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize