Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
